Monday, October 12, 2009

Second Star To the Right?

When was the last time you had blissfully been going along through life and then all the sudden WHAM everything you thought you knew was right seems to be all wrong? You know that awful feeling you got when you were a child and you discovered that Peter Pan is not real, to find out that the second start to the right, and straight on till morning doesn’t really get you anywhere, there is no place called Neverland, and that Fairies do not in fact exist? (Well maybe the fairies not existing part may be a little harsh but you catch my drift… Right? I will clap and say I do believe in fairies as soon as I am finished writing my blog, promise.)

This feeling is NOT a fun one to experience and as we grow older we become wearier of the world and this feeling happens less and less for many of us. Right? I guess there are those few people that are eternal optimists and will believe anything you tell them but for the most part as we grow older there are fewer and fewer things we know, as unbelievable as they are, give us faith that there is hope for those things that seem so unbelievable.

I am a person that desperately strives to believe in people and really, with all my heart, wishes to believe that people as a whole are -for the most part- good and are not out to deceive you but, every once in a while I am afraid that certain things hit me hard and I find it difficult to have little or any faith in humanity.

As many of you may or may not know I am divorced and I admittedly feel a little cheated in the hand I have been dealt but that is a TOTALLY different post, back to the topic at hand, as a divorcee I find I look at most relationships from the outside looking in with the glass half empty kind of view. I am a cynic when it comes to a relationship who isn’t? There is NO way that those people could possibly be that happy but I had ONE couple that I honestly and truthfully believed that they could be “the perfect couple” they were my ideal. Beautiful together, wholesome, loving, compassionate, and the list goes on and on. As hard as I looked I could not find anything wrong with their relationship. They of course did not know that they were my ONE hope for the happy ending kind of love you see in the movies. They, in my mind, had it all. They talked nicely to one another, they were passionate about similar things, and they really honest and truthfully LOVED one another in every essence of the word.

Well like the child that has just found out that they are never going to have the chance to visit Neverland or battle with captain hook, my delusional world of a perfect love/marriage has come crashing down when I discovered that my power couple is getting a divorce.

My heart breaks for them but secretly and selfishly my heart breaks for me too because what now do I have to believe in?

1 comment:

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